


Sunlight and Shadows

by silksinger



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-12-16
Packaged: 2018-03-05 03:01:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 10,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3103082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silksinger/pseuds/silksinger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the war Will helps Nico recover from the traumatic events of his past.  A lot of what I write about Nico I take directly from my experience (like nightmares and his reactions to them) so it could possibly get very real.  I'm trying to be as realistic as possible so there will definitely be some hard parts of this story.  As I haven't finished it yet I don't have a clear view on what the story will look like when it's done but as I said before there may be some difficult pieces so if you are easily triggered please read with caution.  That said I really hope you enjoy this story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nightmares

NICO

I sat up so quickly it made my head hurt. I was panting and there were tears streaming down my face. Great. Another nightmare. I had been dreaming about Bianca again. It had been many years since she died but I still dreamed about her every night. Tonight I dreamed that she could come back for one day. One whole day.

We were in a park somewhere. It was beautiful. It must have been summer because all the trees had bright green leaves and the air was filled with birdsong. Bianca ran down the path towards me smiling, her arms stretched out ready to wrap me in a hug. I ran towards her and we collided laughing and crying, hugging each other so hard it hurt. “I've missed you so much!” I whispered through my tears. “I missed you too little brother.”She replied.

She stepped back kissing me lightly on the forehead. “Come with me. I have a surprise for you!” She grabbed my hand and ran off down the path dragging me with her.

The trees opened out into a small clearing with two people in it. My parents. Bianca grinned at me “One whole day. Just the four of us.” I grinned back. I had a family again.

The day passed too quickly and soon the sun began to set. I grabbed Bianca's hand. “Don't go. Please! Stay with me! I cant lose you again!”

“I have to Nico. I'm so sorry...” Her image began to fade. I could barely feel her hand in mine.

“Bianca! Wait...”

“Nico, I will always...” Her voice was cut off as the last of her image faded and I was left holding empty air.

I was starting to cry again. “Stop it.” I growled slapping myself hard across the cheek. I rubbed away the tears and got up. I took a quick shower and pulled on a pair of black jeans and a tight black shirt. I looked in the mirror to make sure my eyes were no longer red and then headed out to breakfast. I had almost reached the pavilion when the dizzy spell hit me. A huge wave of dizziness washed over me and I stumbled, almost falling.

“Hey,” Said a voice behind me “You ok?”

“I...” I meant to say 'I'm fine' but I quickly realized I couldn't breath. The world started spinning and my vision went black.

WILL

I jumped forward and caught him as he began to fall. I looked down at the face of the boy in my arms. It was Nico Di Angelo! Nico Di Angelo!!! The mysterious alluring and incredibly beautiful son of Hades. His eyes were closed and his breathing was shallow and unsteady.

“Ummmm... no. You’re definitely not ok.” I muttered.

I picked him up and was surprised by how light he was. This boy needed some serious medical attention! I carried him into the infirmary and set him down on a bed in an empty room. I pulled the covers over him and left to grab some medical supplies.

NICO

I groaned. My head hurt like crazy. I opened my eyes and blinked up at a smooth white ceiling. Where the heck was I? I heard a door open and turned my head to see a tall boy walk in. He had golden hair, a perfect tan and intense dark blue eyes that made me blush.

“You're awake. Good.” He said sitting on the bed next to me “I'm Will Solace. I'm just going to take you're temperature ok?” He said placing his had on my forehead. I pulled away uncomfortable with his close proximity to me. “What in Hades am I doing here?! Get away from me!”

Most people back off when I get upset but he just laughed “Well aren't you just a little ray of sunshine. You fainted on your way to breakfast.” He said the last bit more seriously handing me a cup of strong smelling dark liquid. “Drink up!”

I eyed the liquid suspiciously. “What is it?”

“Something to help you sleep.” He made me drink the whole glass. It didn't taste too bad. Sort of like over brewed slightly sweet mint tea. I felt the effects immediately. My eyelids got heavy and I couldn't think straight. I fell back against the pillow and was too tired to protest when Will tucked the covers around me. He brushed my hair out of my eyes and smiled at me. “Sweet dreams Sunshine.”

Yeah that's likely I thought as I drifted off.

“Nico, I will always...” Her voice was cut off as the last of her image faded and I was left holding empty air.

I woke to find my face once again wet with tears and my heart racing. It had been the same dream again. I stood up and threw the covers off. It was the middle of the night and I was still in the infirmary. The room felt small and stuffy. I needed air.

I left my room and ran barefoot down the path toward the beach tears still streaming down my face.

WILL

I was just about to head back to the Appollo cabin when I heard a sound from the other side of the infirmary. It was midnight. There shouldn't be anyone else awake. I was surprised when Nico ran past me and out the door. He didn't appear to have seen me. Where was he going? He couldn't just leave in the middle of the night! I followed him out and down the path toward the beach.

When I got to the beach I found him sitting with his back to a log hugging his knees to his chest. He was biting his lip hard and there were tears running down his face. My heart almost broke. I wanted to go to him and hold him in my arms. I wanted to make everything ok for him. But instead I walked over slowly and cautiously sat beside him.

NICO

Out of the corner of my eye I saw someone walk toward me and sit down. It was Will, the guy who had taken care of me in the infirmary. How could I let him see me like this? So weak. I bit down viciously on my lip and tasted blood. I looked out at the dark horizon... dark horizon... Bianca's voice echoed in my. After our mom died she used to sing me to sleep with the same song every night.

“Pick a star on the dark horizon

and follow the light

I'll come back when you call me

no need to say goodbye.”

But she wouldn't be coming back. Not ever. I would never see her again.

My tears came faster and I let out a sob. Immediately I bit down on my lip to stifle it but the sound had already escaped.

“Hey,” Will said softly. He gently rested his hand on my shoulder. “It's ok... let it out. It will help.”

I stiffened but he just pulled me closer, wrapping both his arms around me. No one had ever been this nice to be before. I broke. I buried my face in his chest and sobbed. He held me tight stroking my hair. “It's ok Sunshine. Everything will be alright.” He whispered so close to my ear that I could feel his lips moving.


	2. Lullaby

WILL

It was a long time before Nico quieted. I continued to hold him after his sobs had died away. His breathing was shallow and unsteady.

“Hey, you're ok. Just take a deep breath.” I said “Do you want to talk about it?”

Several minutes passed before he replied. “It was nothing. Just a nightmare.” He lifted his head and pulled away from me. I resisted the urge to point out that it obviously wasn't 'nothing' if it upset him so much. I didn't think it would be wise to push him. I looked up at him and his expression immediately became guarded. He looked embarrassed and angry. But not at me. He seemed angry at himself.

I looked out at the water and watched the moonlight bounce off the ever moving waves. I could see why Nico had come out here. It really was beautiful. I looked over at the boy sitting next me. He was about six inches shorter than me. When he was standing the top of his head only came up to my nose.

“You ready to go back to the infirmary and get some rest?” I asked him gently.

He looked like he wanted to say no but then he just sighed and nodded. I stood up brushing the sand off my jeans. I held out my hand to help him up and he accepted. I didn't want to let go of his hand but I also didn't want to make him uncomfortable. I let go and we walked back to camp in silence.

When we reached his room I helped him get comfortable and then got him a glass of water. He drank it gratefully. I took the empty glass back and started toward the door.

“Wait,” I looked back at the sound of his voice. He was watching me, his dark brown eyes wide. He looked scared. “I don't want to be alone,” he whispered.

I walked over and sat in the chair by his bed. The sheets rustled softly as he rolled onto his back and closed his eyes. I thought he had gone to sleep but a few minutes later he whispered “Bianca used to sing me to sleep every night.” he had spoken so softly I could barely hear him. A tear ran down his face.

Who was Bianca? I thought I may have heard the name once before but I wasn't sure. Obviously she was important to Nico though. “Would you like me to sing?” I asked matching his volume.

For a long time he didn't respond. At last he nodded almost imperceptibly. I started to sing the first song that came to my mind. My mom used to sing it to me if I had a nightmare when I was little and I realized I hadn't thought about it in years.

“Swing low, sweet chariot  
Commin' for to carry me home  
Swing low, sweet chariot  
Commin' for to carry me home

I'm sometimes up, and i'm sometimes down  
Comin' for to carry me home  
But but i know my soul is heavenly bound  
Comin' for to carry me home 

Swing low, sweet chariot  
Comin' for to carry me home  
Swing low, sweet chariot  
Comin' for to carry me home...”


	3. Talking To Jason

WILL

When I went back to the infirmary the next morning Nico was still asleep. I decided not wake him up and instead went in search of Jason. He seemed like he was the closest to Nico and I wanted to ask him some questions. When I found him he was having a full on practice duel with Percy. It was actually quite beautiful to watch. They danced backward and forward in complex patterns, their swords reflecting the bright morning sunlight. I waited at a safe distance until they were finished before strolling over to Jason.

“Hey,” I said as he grabbed a water bottle and proceeded to dump the contents over his head.

“Hey Will, What's up.”

“Well actually I wanted to talk to you about Nico,” He jerked his head up and looked at me, smiling expectantly. “I'm taking care of him in the infirmary... he's alright but he had a nightmare last night. He mentioned someone named Bianca and I was wondering who she was...?” He looked dissapointed. Apparently that was not what he had been expecting. The expresion on his face made it clear he was uncomfortable and didn't want to be the one to explain. “Ummm.... I think maybe Percy would be better qualified to answer that...”

I looked over to see Percy watching with a pained expression on his face. Obviously this wasn't a happy story. “Well...” He began “Bianca was Nico's older sister...” He proceeded to tell me how he had met Nico and Bianca and about the quest that had taken her life. “It's all my fault.” He muttered when he had finished.

“Wow...” I said. “No wonder he was crying!”

“Wait, he was what?!” Jason looked surprised.

“He was crying.... He said she used to sing to him...”

They exchanged impressed glances. “I think I know what's going on here,” Jason said.

“What?” I asked confused.

“Well... its just that Nico doesn't normally talk to people... much less cry in front of them...” He replied smirking. In a more serious tone he added “Will be careful. Nico may seem tough but he's really sensitive and easily hurt.” His eyes flicked to Percy for a brief second before coming back to me. Percy looked embarrassed. Wait... were they saying what I thought they were...? No way...

I went back to the infirmary that evening to check on Nico. He was still asleep and I started to get worried. He didn't seem to have a fever and his pulse was relatively normal so I told myself not to worry and that Nico was just exhausted and needed rest. I was about to leave when he started murmuring in his sleep. I couldn’t make out the words but he sounded scared. As his muttering got louder and more frantic I realized he was speaking in Italian. I recognized the word 'Tartarus' before he started thrashing around like he was fighting invisible enemies. I ran to the bed and grabbed his wrists before he hurt himself. He seemed to calm down a bit and I sat next to him on the bed and pulled him into my arms. He was still muttering quietly and he sounded terrified. He started to cry softly. I hugged him tight, stroking his hair and telling him everything would be ok. Eventually he calmed down snuggled into me, sleeping peacefully. Through the entire episode he hadn't woken once. I was just thinking about how I should probably check on the other patients when Jason walked in. I was suddenly very conscious of the fact that I was curled up in bed with a sleeping Nico Di Angelo. Gods I could only imagine how this looked.

Jason raised his eyebrows and I could tell he was trying hard not to laugh.

“I was just...” I started to say but he interrupted me.

“Suuuure.”

“He had a nightmare! I was trying to calm him down!”

“He seems pretty calm to me. Admit it, Will. You like him!” Jason grinned at me. I knew I must be blushing like crazy. “I was just coming in to see if he was awake but I guess that's a no.” he added coming to sit in the chair by Nico's bed.

“About that... Jason, he's been asleep for almost twenty four hours. Is that normal for him?” I asked trying to keep the worry out of my voice.

“Yeah he tends to do that after he's been shadow traveling.” he reassured me. “Reyna said he slept for three days one time.” I must have looked relieved because he grinned at me and said “He'll be ok. I'm sure you'll take great care of him.” he winked at me and stood up, ruffling Nico's hair. “Well I'd better get going. I have a sword class to teach in ten minutes. See you around Will.” He went out closing the door behind him.

I didn't want to get up but I knew I needed to. I sighed and disentangled myself from Nico. I tucked the covers around him and smoothed his hair down before reluctantly leaving the infirmary.


	4. Admit it, Will

WILL

When I got back to the Apollo cabin the only person there was my sister Maisie. She was reading a book on her bunk. Her long blond hair was hanging over her shoulder and she was chewing on her lip the way she did when she was nervouse. I kicked my shoes off and flopped down on my bunk. Maisie came over to sit next to me.

“Hey Will... can I talk to you for a minute?” She asked hesitantly.

“Course!” I told her. Maisie and I were pretty close. We had come to camp at around the same time and been friends ever since. I smiled at her but she looked a bit nervous.

“It's just... something happened last week... there was this girl... I... well... she uh kinda kissed me. I've been really confused and I thought maybe it would help if I talked to someone?” I grinned at her and she seemed to relax a bit “You can always talk to me,” I told her. “Soooo.... did you kiss her back? Do you like her?”

“I guess...” She blushed a bit.

“Wait, which question were you answering?”

“Both?” She hid a smile. I sat up and punched her lightly on the arm, laughing.

“Will... does this mean I'm... lesbian?” She asked quietly.

“No.” I replied putting my arm around her. “Maybe you're bi. But it doesn't really matter. You can like whoever you want. No one's going to force you to label your sexuality.” She smiled a little at that. “Anyway,” I told her, glancing nervously around the room just to make absolutely sure no one else was present. “I have something to admit too.” I leaned over to whisper in her ear. “I have a crush on Nico Di Angelo.”

There was a short pause and then she burst out laughing.

“Hey!” I protested. “I was totally serious!”

“I know I know!” She said still giggling. “It's just... he doesn't let people get anywhere near him! Good luck getting him to talk to you! And it would take a miracle if you got him to make out with you.”

“Well...” I said “I may have had some luck getting near him. He got sick and I've locked him up in the infirmary so he kinda has to talk to me. Also... Jason seems to think he may have a crush on me too.”

A few minutes later the dinner bell rang and Maisie and I ran down to join the rest of our cabin.

After dinner I went up to the infirmary one last time to check on all my patients before I went to bed. I got to Nico's room last. I slipped in quietly and checked his temperature, pulse, and breathing. Everything seemed ok so I just watched him for a few minutes. He looked so cute lying there without his usual frown that I couldn't resist. I bent down and kissed him softly on the forehead.

Nico's eyes flew open and he pulled away staring at me in shock and terror. 

“I'm sorry...” I whispered. Then I ran out of the infirmary and into the woods. I didn't stop until I was deep in the forest, alone with my thoughts. Jason must have been wrong. Nico didn't like me. The look on his face just now... I turned and punched the nearest tree. An angry driad started yelling at me and throwing pine cones but I didn't care. I turned and ran deeper into the forest.


	5. Admit it, Nico

JASON (surprise!)

I was heading up to the infirmary to see if Nico had woken up yet when Will ran past me. He looked upset which was unusual for him. I frowned wondering what was wrong. I walked into Nico's room to find him awake and sitting up. His eyes were wide and he looked totally stunned.

“Umm... what happened?” I asked him.

He muttered something I couldn't quite make out. “What?” I asked. “Will.” He said slightly louder this time. I raised my eyebrows. “What did he do?” I asked although I was pretty sure I already knew.

“He... kissed me." The disbelief in Nico's voice was almost comical. "On the forehead.” He added hurriedly.

Yeah I had guessed right, although the forehead part surprised me a bit. “So why did he leave? I saw him run off on my way up here...”

Nico didn't look too happy. “I pulled away from him. I guess I didn't respond too well.”

“What?!” I exclaimed. “Why did you do that? I mean you do like him, don't you?”

Nico blushed a bit and looked down at his hands. “Yeah... I guess I do. I don't know... I was just startled and really scared and I didn't know what to do! He's never going to want to talk to me again. I messed up big time.”

“Oh come on!” I said sitting down next to him and putting my arm around his shoulders. “We all mess up sometimes. He'll understand. Just go talk to him.”

“You think?” He looked up at me hopefully.

“I'm sure he will.” I reassured him, laughing. “Go find him. I think he went toward the woods.”

Nico stood up and gave me a rare grin. “Thanks Jason.” He said and ran off.

I smiled after him. I really hoped this would work out for them. It would be good for both of them but especially for Nico.


	6. Hellhound

NICO (finally)

I ran through the woods easily following Will's trail. Many people would not have been able to find it but I've spent a fair amount of time hunting and tracking both people and monsters and Will certainly wasn't covering his tracks. I was very deep in the forest before I saw him. He was sitting in a clearing with his back to me.

“Will,” I called to him. He jumped up at the sound of my voice and turned to face me. “Nico! What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in the infirmary!”

“For the love of Zeus calm down Will! We need to talk.” I was about to continue when I heard a low unearthly growl coming from just behind him. I recognized the sound immediately. Hellhound. 

Without thinking I reached into the nearest shadow and summoned my sword. I ran forward roughly shoving Will behind me. He had no weapon and was completely helpless. The hellhound sprang from the shadows and I screamed “Will! Get back!” as I sidestepped and slashed up with my sword opening a small gash on the monster's right shoulder. It spun and attacked again snarling through its gleaming fangs. This time when it leaped I ducked and rolled under it's belly stabbing upward as I went. I knew I had wounded it but not badly enough to stop the creature from continuing it's attack. I stumbled as I came to my feet and the few seconds it took to regain my balance cost me dearly. The beast launched itself at me from behind and I threw myself to the left but as I did I felt its claws rake down my right shoulder. I could hear Will screaming somewhere behind me but I ignored it. I forgot the burning pain in my shoulder as I stood up, determined to send this creature back to tartarus for a good long while. I heard it snarl behind me and just as it leaped I swung around to meet it, sword raised. I ducked under it claws stabbing up into its exposed belly. It would have crushed me when it fell but instead it exploded into yellow powder which quickly faded away.

I fell to my knees and Will ran to me. “Nico, oh my gods your shoulder! We have to get you back to the infirmary!” He gasped. He picked me up and ran through the woods, with me in his arms, as if I weighed nothing.


	7. Spilled Secrets

NICO

When we got back to my room in the infirmary Will gently set me down on the bed. My shoulder had begun to throb mercilessly and every slight movement hurt. My mind was fuzzy but I vaguely heard Will say “Nico I need you to take off your shirt so I can get a look at your shoulder.” I shook my head and the movement almost made me throw up but I couldn't let him see my scars. “Nico please!” He said sounding very worried. I was losing a lot of blood and I knew it. “Fine Nico. I've asked nicely, but I'm your doctor and your hurt. I'm not giving you a choice.” He grabbed a knife from his medical bag and cut my shirt away. I closed my eyes and tried not to notice as he went still and stared at my back. “Oh gods Nico...” He whispered. I expected him to be horrified and disgusted just like everyone else but he surprised me. “I'm so sorry.” What?! He was sorry? It wasn't his fault... “Why didn't you want me to see?” He asked suddenly.

“I... Normally people are disgusted... they think it's ugly... it is ugly.” I answered.

“You should have shown me sooner. I can help. But first we need to get your shoulder taken care of.” He cleaned and dressed the cuts on my shoulder and wrapped them tightly in a bandage. “I'll take care of the scarring once they've healed more.” He said. “But right now I'll take care of your other scars. Lie down on your stomach.” He ordered. I did as I was told. What did he mean he could help with my scars? A second later I felt his warm hands on my back. He ran them along each of my many scars leaving trails of heat behind. He was firm and confident but also incredibly gentle and careful. I hated to admit it but I was loving this. When he had finished with my back he had me roll over so he could work on my chest and stomach. Now I could actually see what he was doing. As he ran his fingers gently down each of my scars they faded and then disappeared. I stared in disbelief. He saw the expression on my face and laughed. “I'm a healer! What did you expect?” He moved his hands to my left arm and I tensed. He paused and looked at me. “What's wrong?” I didn't answer. I didn't want him to see but I had no excuse to make him stop. I closed my eyes and looked away. He reached for my arm again and I felt him stiffen. I knew what he was seeing. The many white scars slashed haphazardly across my left for arm. “Nico... Did you do this?” His voice was soft and slightly strangled. I didn't answer him and tried to pull my arm away. His grip tightened and I tugged a bit harder. “Nico I'm not judging you and I'm not pitying you either but I do care. I know I don't understand what you've been through but I want to be there for you and I regret not being there for you before. Please please come talk to me first if you ever feel like doing this again.” I could hear the worry and desperation in his voice. Maybe he really did care. “Nico promise me!”

“I've been clean for almost a year Will!” I snapped but he didn't back down. “Promise!”

“Fine! I promise.” I pulled my arm back and this time he let me take it. I looked at it and realized that while he had been talking he had healed all the scars. My eyes filled with tears. He was giving me a fresh start and maybe... maybe this time it would be better. I looked up at him and tried to say “thank you” but I couldn't get the words out. He seemed to understand and moved over so he was sitting right next to me. “Hey, it's ok.” He said quietly. I looked away from him as a tear rolled silently down my cheek. “Oh Sunshine, come here.” He pulled me up so I was leaning against him and wrapped his arms around me. “I'm going to be here for you from now on ok?” I felt his warm hands on my back and I was suddenly very consious of the fact that I still didn't have a shirt on.

I turned to look at him. “So you're not mad at me?” I asked.

“What? Why would I be mad at you?”

“Well... I didn't react very well earlier when you... kissed me.” I mumbled.

He blushed a bit and looked down loosening his grip on me a little. “I'm sorry Nico... I shouldn't have done that. It was stupid. I'm... sorry.”

“What?! No!” I practically yelled. “It's me that should be sorry!”

“Wait... so you actually like me then?” He sounded surprised and a bit hopeful.

“I... guess I do. A lot.” I added quickly. Before I could lose my nerve I moved so I was sitting in his lap with my head resting against his shoulder. He grinned and hugged me tight. “I'm gonna kiss you again and this time don't pull away ok?” He whispered in my ear. I smiled as I felt his soft lips brush against my forehead. I turned to look up at him and he smiled softly, gazing into my eyes. I felt my face heat up slightly as I gazed up into his beautiful deep blue eyes. A piece of his golden hair fell across his face and I reached up without thinking to brush it away. As I did so I noticed our faces were only about two inches apart. Will leaned forward slowly and kissed me gently on the mouth. It only lasted a moment but it was heavenly, and when he pulled away I was left with the taste of vanilla and strawberries on my lips. Will whispered in my ear "That was pretty badass the way you fought that hellhound earlier. I could never have done that."

"I couldn't let it hurt you." I replied seriously. He looked at the alarm clock by my bed and sighed softly. “I gotta go Sunshine. It's already past curfew.” But I didn't want him to leave. “Wait.” I said. “Stay with me. Please? I don't want to be alone when the nightmares happen. And anyway the harpies will eat you if you go out now!” He grinned at me and said “Ok I think I could manage that.”

We took turns in the bathroom brushing our teeth and getting changed. He brought me some extra clothes that they keep here encase they have to stay over night with a patient. Which is sort of what Will was doing. When we were both ready we snuggled into my bed and talked for a while in the dark. When I started to get tired he sang to me until I fell asleep. I knew the nightmares would come but this time Will would be there to keep me safe.


	8. Comfort

NICO

I was running as fast as I could. My footsteps echoed through the dimly lit tunnels. I couldn't find her anywhere. "Bianca!" I yelled as I ran around yet another corner and found myself in a small room. It had a small bed in the corner with a lamp. The sheets were white and smudged with dirt and the lamp was broken. There was a battered stool with a child's doll on it sitting in the corner. I walked over and picked up the doll. I recognized it. It had been a gift from our mother for Bianca's sixth birthday. She used to love this thing. I looked around the but saw nothing else. The room felt like it had been empty for centuries. "Bianca?" I whispered quietly this time. I was answered only by silence. I noticed a door to my left, directly opposite the one I had come in. I set the doll back on the stool and walked toward the door. I opened it and stepped out into a hallway. I looked to my left and saw something at the far end of the passage. I walked towards it cautiously. It was a pair of boots. My sister's boots. They had cobwebs on them and were covered in a thick layer of dust. They had been here for a long time. I reached out to wipe the dust away and was suddenly aware of a presence behind me. I froze. "Are you looking for your sister, son of Hades?" Said a voice I could never forget. "You won't find her. I took her. She is mine now." The voice belonged to Tartarus. He had taken my sister! I turned around and woke up screaming.

The first thing I saw when I woke up was Will's eyes. He was leaning over me almost yelling "Nico wake up!" When I looked up at him focusing on his voice and trying to clear the nightmare from my head. He pulled me close to him and I breathed in his smell of pine, herbs, and vanilla. It was becoming a familiar scent and it helped me to relax but I couldn't escape the sound of Tartarus' voice. He held me, and rubbed circles on my back until I began to relax and stopped shaking. I wanted to stay curled up in his arms forever. I felt safe and protected and I never wanted to be alone again. Will kissed me softly on the head. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you, Sunshine." He promised me. "You're safe here. It was only a dream." I sighed quietly and pushed my face into his neck and he laughed softly. I wanted to pull back and kiss him but I was too shy. "Sunshine," He whispered. In my ear, "I think you need to sleep in the infirmary for a while. Your nightmares need constant monitoring." I wasn't sure if he was teasing me or if he was serious so I pulled back and looked up into his eyes. He seemed to be both teasing and serious. He smiled at me and leaned down kissing me lightly on the lips. A moment later he pulled away but I didn't want to stop kissing him. I pushed my hands though his hair and pulled his face back down to mine. I felt his laugh vibrate through his whole body and I smiled into the kiss.

WILL

I pulled back eventually and lay down next to Nico. I had my arm around him and his head was tacked into my shoulder. “So Nico,” I said into the silence. “What's your favorite colour?” He sat up slightly and looked at me with his eyebrows pulled together in confusion. “Where did that come from?”

“Well,” I said tapping him on his adorable nose. “I don't actually know. It just popped into my head so I thought I'd ask.” He lay back down and snuggled into me. “I guess I'd have to say green. Like when you're in the forest in summer and the sun comes through and hits the leaves and it takes your breath away because it's so beautiful.”

I smiled. This was the Nico that no one else knew existed. “So which shade exactly?” I asked him.

“It's not a specific shade! That's the whole point. There's billions of shades in one tiny leaf and that's what makes it so beautiful!” He said it so earnestly I had to laugh. “What?” he asked sounding slightly annoyed. “It's just cute that's all!”

I rolled over so I was facing him and kissed his nose. “What's you're favorite colour, Will?”

I thought for a minute. “Hmm... blue I guess. When the light hits the ocean just right.”

“Like your eyes.” He was looking into my eyes like he was in a trance and for a minute I wondered if he found my eyes as beautiful as I found his. I quickly rejected the idea though. Nothing was as beautiful as Nico Di Angelo's eyes. We lay there in silence for a while. I started twirling Nico's hair around my fingers. It was incredibly soft and silky. Suddenly he sat up and looked at me. “Will...”

“Yes?” He looked worried and I wasn't quite sure what was wrong.

“Are we... dating?” I sat up and faced him. He was biting his lip slightly and it made him even more cute. I looked into his gorgeous eyes. “Nico, do you want to be my boyfriend?” I asked him.

“Yeah,” He grinned and I grinned back.

I lay back down a pulled him with me so that my arms were around him and his head was on my chest.

“So you're my... boyfriend.” He said quietly, trying the word out. “Yeah I like that!”

I laughed and hugged him tighter for a minute. “You're boyfriend says you need sleep!”

“Ok.” He muttered. “Just don't go anywhere.”

“Of course not. I'll be right here all night.”


	9. To Keep Him Safe

NICO

I woke to the quiet sound of a door closing. I shifted slightly under the soft sheets, burrowing into the bedding. Will is gone but he must have left just before I woke up because the space on the bed next to me is still warm. It takes a minute for my brain to catch up with my thoughts. Wait... Will was here. Will was here. Like here meaning in bed with me! Oh my gods how did I let this happen? What was I thinking?! I felt my face start to heat up.

No. I raised my hand and slaped my cheek as hardas I could. Snap out of it. How could you do this Nico?! You know it won't work. You'll just end up getting him killed. You'll hurt him. He'll die if you stay around. Just like Bianca. Just like your mother. Just like everyone else you have ever loved. Wait. Loved? No. How could I think that? I mean I barely know him! Oh gods, but its true! However it happened its true.

That was it. I had to leave. To keep him safe I had to leave.

I pushed the blankets off and swung my feet over the edge of the bed. I had to hurry before he got back. I went into the bathroom and changed into the jeans and t-shirt I was wearing yesterday. They weren't exactly clean but I could change later. I really didn't need anything else but I felt like I was missing something. I thought about it for a minute before I realized what it is. I couldn't just disappear with no explanation. Will would freak out. If he thought I'd gone to the woods he might try to follow me and then he could get hurt.

I went back into my room and looked for something to leave a note with. I found a pen (not riptide. I made sure to check because Percy had been known to leave it lying around as a joke.) but I couldn't find paper. I had to settle for a napkin. I chewed on the end of the pen while I tried to decide what to write. I couldn't tell him the truth... that I loved him. No... I'd have to settle for something a little more vague...

Will,

I have to leave. I can't explain why right now. I'm sorry.

-Nico

It was short but I had to be quick because he could come back any minute. I looked around the room searching for the best place to leave it. I decided the pillow was the most obvious. As I set it down I heard footsteps coming down the hall outside and Will humming. I hesitated. I wanted to stay so badly. I could grab the note and hide it. It wasn't too late yet! I could... Nico, wake up! Stop daydreaming. As the doorknob started to turn and I stepped back into the shadows, tears streaming down my face.


	10. Where In Hades Is Nico

WILL

When I came back with breakfast I was surprised not to find Nico in bed. At first I thought he was probably just in the bathroom but then I saw the note. I had to read it three times before it registered. He... left? I sat down shocked. I read the note again trying to get something at all out of it. He didn't say why or where he was going. It wasn't something I did was it? No... after all he was the one who suggested I stay the night. Then a thought struck me. He was asleep when I went to get breakfast and I didn't see him leave. It was possible I could have missed him, but unlikely. I stood up and walked out into the hall. “Maisie?” I called. I had passed her on my way out to breakfast and the again on my way back in so I knew she was out here the whole time.

“Sup brother dear?” She called back. She was grinning but stopped when she saw my face.

“Did Nico come through here?”

She looked confused. “No... Why...?”

“Dam dam dam why is he such an idiot!” I ran back into the room just to make sure. There were no windows... at least none that opened.

“Will what in Hades is going on?!” I handed her the note and let her read it. When she finished she looked up at me. Then at the room. She took in the windows and then looked back at the door and came to the same conclusion I had. The only way out was through the door, unless...

“Oh gods...” Was all she could say.

“I told him he wasn't strong enough but he just had to go and shadow travel anyway! He could be dying right now! He probably is! And I can't help him!” I'm not sure when I started yelling but by the end I definitely was.

“Will. Will! Calm down before you hurt yourself.” Maisie said. “I have an idea.” She pulled a golden drachma out of her pocket and walked over the the fountain in the corner. We keep them in all the rooms in case we have and emergency and need to contact a patients friends or family. She switch it on and tossed the coin into the rainbow.

“Oh Iris, goddess of the rainbow, accept my offering.

Show me Nico Di Angelo,”

There was a small popping noise and the coin shot back out and hit her in the nose.

“Ow!” She yelled rubbing her face.

She tried again and again the coin shot back out. This time she managed to duck in time. She frowned and tried a few more times but met with the same results.

“Hey let me try,” Said a voice from the doorway. I looked up as Percy walked into the room.

“Knock yourself out.” Maisie muttered. “Or... try not to.” She added rubbing her nose.

Percy laughed and turned to the fountain. “Alright lets do this.” He said and tossed the coin in.

“O Fleecy, do me a solid. Show Nico Di Angelo.”

The coin flew right back out and hit Percy on the mouth. “What the...?” He spluttered and Maisie snorted.

He threw the coin back in and yelled “Fleecy what the Hades!”

The mist shimmered and the image of a girl appeared. She was short and muscular with white frizzy hair and a tie-dye shirt that said “R.O.F.L.” Her Eyes switched colours rapidly, alternating between black, grey, and white. All together it was a rather disconcerting image.

“What!” She napped. “I'm just doing my job. If I can't connect you I return the coin.”

“What do you mean you 'can't connect me'” Percy asked.

“I just can't reach him. Either he's shielded by magic or he's out of range. Probably he's out of range. Only Hecate's children can Shield. But either way it probably means he doesn't want to talk to you!”

“Wait...” Percy said slowly. “There's such a thing as 'out of range?'”

“Yes there is.” Fleecy rolled her eyes. “You Demigods are so demanding! I can't connect to everywhere you know!”

“Ok... So um how many places are there that you can't connect to...?”

“Just one.”

“And where might that be?” Percy asked in a low voice. He sounded like he already knew and was really hoping he was wrong.

“Tartarus.”


	11. Nico's Home

NICO

I stumbled out of the shadows and a wave of nausea and exhaustion hit me. Will was right. I really wasn't well enough to shadow travel yet. I could feel my life slipping away and my vision went black.

A warm feeling enveloped me. My eyes were still closed but I could feel my strength returning. As I regained consciousness I heard a familiar voice singing softly in ancient Greek. I could smell herbs and stew and beneath that a warm, peaceful scent that was unique to this place. I smiled and opened my eyes taking in my familiar surroundings. “Home.” I whispered to myself.

I said it quietly but not quietly enough. “You're awake.” Came a deep voice from across the room.

“Yeppers peppers!” I grinned. It's an inside joke. I sat up and noticed how much better I felt. Better than I'd felt in weeks. “Thanks for healing me. I feel amazing!”

I looked over at the giant to see him frowning in disapproval. “You should know better than to test your strength like that. You're lucky I was here when you arrived or you would be dead right now.”

“Yeah Damasen, I know.” I muttered. I looked down at my lap and thought about Will. My eyes started to prickle. No, I told myself. No crying.

“Nico?” Damasen asked gently. “What's wrong?” I could hear the concern in his voice and I really needed to talk to someone about it so just let it all out. When I had finished he was silent for a long time.

“Ok Nico, firstly we need to let this Will know that you're alright.” He said firmly “If he's anything like how you've described him he'll be worried sick. Then you need to talk to Bianca. I think she could help you.”

I choked. “Damasen... I can't. Bianca chose rebirth. She's...” gone. I couldn't say it. I just sat there silently and let the tears run down my face.

“I'm going to message Percy. You said he's at the camp with Will right? He can get the message to him?” I just nodded without making a sound. “Then we are going to pay your father a visit.”

“What? No!” I protested. “He's not my father. He doesn't care about me. You're my real father.” 

“Damasen sighed and left to talk to Percy.


	12. Bianca

NICO

"I think it would be best if you took us straight to the thrown room." Damasen told me firmly. We had been arguing for half an hour. He insisted we needed to go visit Hades but refused to explain why. I really didn't want to see him ever again and I could be very stubborn when I wanted to but Damasen refused to back down.

"Fine!" I glared at him.

"Good." His lips curved into the suggestion of a smile. "You'll let me know if you get tired?"

I rolled my eyes upward. "Please. I'm fully healed now. One trip isn't enough to make me yawn. We're not even leaving the underworld." I grabbed onto his sleeve and concentrated, feeling my body dissolve into shadow.

"Well well well. Look who's here. And you brought a friend. How... pathetic. Couldn't face me by yourself could you?" Hades's voice was like nails scraping against a chalkboard. I hadn't seen him in over a year. Not since the last time I had been here.

"Father please!" I begged. "I want to see her one last time. She has chosen rebirth. I'll never see her again! Can't I just say goodbye?"

His eyes flashed in anger. "No! You don't deserve to see her."

"W-what do you mean...?" My voice shook and I made no effort to stop it.

He stood, suddenly towering over me as I knelt at the foot of his thrown. "It's because of you. She died because of you. You didn't deserve her then and you don't deserve her now. Leave me, you filthy scum. Get out!"

And I had. I had left and I hadn't returned until today. I looked up to see Hades leering at me from his thrown.

"Lord Hades." Damasen said respectfully. "We are here because we must speak with Bianca Di Angelo."

The lord of the dead did not look surprised. "And what makes you think I would do that for you? My fatherly love for that pathetic child at your side?" He mocked.

"No." Damasen replied calmly. "You owe me a favor, or have you forgotten? You know of what I speak."

"Ah yes. That." Hades began to look uncomfortable. "You are sure this is how you wish me to repay you?"

"Yes." Damasen said firmly.

Hades nodded curtly and waved his hand leaving behind a trail of smoke which swirled slowly, solidifying into the form of Bianca. Then the lord of the dead disappeared.

As Bianca's form solidified she blinked and slowly her eyes focused on me. "Nico?" She whispered.

"Bianca?" I reached slowly toward her as she held her hand out to me. My finger passed through her hand and when I looked closer I saw that her form was made of smoke. "Is that really you?" I asked, barely able to believe it.

She nodded. "I've missed you so much, little brother." She smiled at me and I smiled back. "What's wrong?" She asked softly looking deep into my eyes. How could I explain? It had been years. So much had happened. I didn't even know where to start but she seemed to understand. "Start right after I left on the quest." She told me. "I want to hear everything I've missed." So I did. I told her everything. At one point she reached toward as if she wanted to put her arms around me, but she pulled back when she remembered she couldn't touch me.

"I just... I can't hurt him. I can't let him die like everyone else I've ever been close to. You... Mom... I just... can't." I was crying again by this time, and I didn't try to stop. I just let the tears drip off my face and fall to the cold stone floor of Hades's thrown room.

"Nico no..." Bianca whispered, and for the first time in several minutes I looked up at her. She was crying too. Ghostly silver tears dripped silently down her cheeks in a way that might have been beautiful if it hadn't been for the fact that she was my sister and I had made her cry. I was the cause of the devastated look in her eyes. "Nico... it wasn't your fault! I chose my death. It wasn't your fault."

"But you did it to protect me!" I gasped out. "Mom died because Zeus was mad that we existed. You died on a quest to save a girl because she was captured saving us!"

My older sister watched me sadly for a moment before murmuring quietly,"No... Nico. It wasn't your fault. You know that. Deep down you know that. There's something else bothering you, isn't there?"

I hadn't even realized it before, but she was right. She was always right. And suddenly I couldn't take it anymore. I collapsed,shaking on the floor. "How could you do that to me? You joined the hunt and just left me! How could you just fucking leave me like that!" By now I was yelling. I had just gotten her back and now I was yelling at her. I hated myself for it but I couldn't seem to stop. I had felt so lonely and betrayed for so long, I just couldn't keep it in anymore. "You were the only person I had and you left me! I loved you Bianca!" I finished in a whisper.

I felt more than saw when she knelt down next to me. "I know Nico." She whispered. "I know. I should never have done that. I should never have left you. I thought... I thought they could protect you. I thought you'd be better off without me there. I thought you would be safer if I left. But I was wrong Nico. I was so terribly wrong and I see that now. When you love someone you can't just leave them. Don't you see Nico? This is why you need to go back to camp. You love Will. I can tell. You can't leave him like I left you. Please. Learn from my mistakes,Nico."

"No!It's not like that..." I tried to protest but I didn't know what to say. Because it was like that.

"It's ok Nico. You're scared and so you're running away. That's how it's always been before. That's how you survived. But Nico... it's time to stop running."


	13. As Yet Untitled

NICO

The Hades cabin was just as I had left it the morning I met Will: cold, empty, and full of dust. I dumped my bag of clothes and other personal items that I had grabbed from Damasen's in one of the coffin beds. I sat down against the wall and pulled my knees up to my chest. I should really go find Will, but I had no idea what to say to him, so for the moment I sat on the floor of my cabin and stared at the awful decorations the other campers had put up. It looked like a bad mix of Twilight and Dracula. I made up my mind that I would set a team of zombies to work cleaning and redecorating after I talked to Will.

I heard light footsteps outside and then a soft click as the door knob began to turn. I was on my feet in an instant, reaching into the shadows to grab my sword. I watched as the door slowly swung open to reveal a tall boy. The afternoon sun was streaming in through the open door, catching his golden curls and making them shine like a halo. He looked so angelic I half expected to see wings growing from his shoulders.

WILL

I had come to Nico's cabin hoping to draw some slight comfort from being as near to him as I could, but when he door opened I found something so much better. Nico stood by the far wall, tensed as though expecting a fight. I noticed his black sword gleaming in his hand but my attention was immediately drawn to the way the light danced in his eyes. The sunbeams that streamed over my shoulder seemed to make his eyes glow, pulling out every shade of gold, brown, and even a few flecks of green. He looked healthier than when he had left. 

I ran to him and pulled him into my arms. I held him tightly until he started squirming and mutter “Mmff Will I need to breath someday...” I pulled back and he looked up at me. I could see a small smile trying to sneak onto his face. I took his hand and pulled him over to the small couch in the corner. “What happened, Sunshine?” I whispered. “Why did you leave?”

“I...” He looked at a loss for words. He frowned slightly and absentmindedly began chewing on his lip. After a minute or so he looked up at me. The frown was gone. “It doesn't really matter. What does matter is that I figured some stuff out. And I came back. I came back for you, Will. And I won't leave like that again.”

((To be continued))


	14. Existential Crisis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A week or so after he gets back from Tartarus Nico has a small existential crisis (this has absolutely nothing to do with the amount of time I spend watching Dan and Phil... why would you even think that....)

I lay on my back on top of the soft blankets of my bed. I could hear the muffled sounds of the people going about their business beyond the walls of my cabin but I paid no attention to them. The only important things were here with me. Sometimes I wondered what exactly was important. The obvious answers seemed to be the people that I cared about. But they would be the same people even if they weren't so important to me which seemed to make all of humanity of equal importance. And could something truly be important if it was so easily lost? Human instinct is to always put your life first but I really don't care much for my life. I'm not really sure why I think other people's lives are so important but mine is not. I guess I just feel that I don't deserve it. I let a soft sigh slip past my lips. Barely audible, I knew, but somehow it was enough to alert Will. He looked up from his medical book to study my face. I was staring blankly at the dark ceiling lost in my existential crisis, vaguely wondering if maybe life was really just too complicated to deal with when he spoke.

"Neeks? You okay?" The quiet words were loud in contrast to my silent hurricane of thoughts. I blinked a few times as I came back to reality and looked up at him. I stared back into his face, expressionless while I attempted to gather my thoughts. Too many thoughts. After a minute I discarded the impossible task and just shrugged slightly in response to the question. He set his book down and patted the bed next to him. I laboriously crawled over and let him pull me in close, resting my head on his chest while he wrapped his arms snugly around me. We stayed curled in silence for a while before he spoke.

"What's on your mind, ἀγαπητέ?" He murmured into my hair.

I shrugged yet again because I didn't have words to express how I felt. "I don't know," I responded. "Just life I guess?"

"Yeah?" He said squeezing me tightly. "What about life?" He pressed his face into my hair and ran his thumb up and down across my arm, inevitable setting loose a flock of butterflies in my stomach.

"I don't know it's just kinda hard to understand you know? Like, why is there life and death and stuff?" It didn't begin to cover my thoughts but it was the best I could do.

"Hey I thought you were supposed to know this stuff. You know, death powers and all?" He teased gently.

I looked up at him and cocked an eyebrow. "You know my dad isn't technically the god of death right?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah yeah I know. Your dad is the lord of the underworld but leaves the dirty work to Thanatos. I heard all about it from Percy." He smiled at me and everything suddenly seemed irrelevant. You know when it's all cloudy but you know the sun is there but you can't see it, and then it suddenly comes out from behind a cloud and suddenly the whole world changes? That's what Will's smile was like. Sunshine. It actually was literally sunshine as he tends to glow when he's happy. Dam Apollo's freaking sun powers.

There was a short moment of silence before Will shot me a questioning look.

"Yeah I don't actually remember what we were talking about." I admitted. "You're too fucking pretty for your own good."

He laughed but I noticed his cheeks turn slightly pink. He brushed my hair out of my face and gently kissed my forehead. "I'm nowhere near as pretty as you, Neeks."

I blushed and buried my face in his chest to hide. I could feel the silent laugh travel through his as he hugged me, pressing kisses into my hair.

"If you quit hiding from me I'll give you real kisses." He whispered in my ear. I blushed even harder than I already was if that was possible. I was feeling terribly shy but real kisses might be worth emerging from my hiding place. I slowly pulled back, fighting to control my blush, and blinked up at him through my lashes.

"Oh, so you do want my kisses." He teased, grinning.

I would have hidden again but he brought his hand up to my cheek lightning fast and held my face so I couldn't hide again. He kissed my forehead, both cheeks, and my nose, before finally fitting his lips to mine. He kissed me softly, communicating through touch everything that words could not express.


End file.
